my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize