Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
