ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
