well most of my day revolves around power hour
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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