i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
