But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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