You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
