'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
