you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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