That's intense
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
