I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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