Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
