i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
