In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
