i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
