I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
