Don't make out with my wife yet
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize