Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I showed him my bush... on skype.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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