Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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