Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If I die, sorry about rent.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
