Me too!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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