You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize