End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
