We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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