I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
