Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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