I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
