Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
