So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
