I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
