So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
