you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
