We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
