that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
someone owes me an orgasm
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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