I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize