So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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