My friends, they love my intelligence
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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