I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
