listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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