If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
