new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
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I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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