I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
