Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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