Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
