There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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