he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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