Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
