More tranny stories later!
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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