oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
