I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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