Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize