Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
