remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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