Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
