An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
