This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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