my room smells like sperm. sweet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
