Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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