I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm always down for nudity.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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