went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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