when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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