So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
