fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cockslap morals
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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