Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wear drunk well.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
