Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
